


Jake Paul is a Wizard

by faggotsonline



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Vlogbrothers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Kindergarten & Pre-school, Bad Decisions, Dimension Travel, Fist Fights, Gay Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter References, Mental Breakdown, Multi, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Potions Class (Harry Potter), Pride, The Paul Brothers, YouTube, YouTubers - Freeform, vlogging - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-10 10:47:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17424431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faggotsonline/pseuds/faggotsonline
Summary: Jake Paul is teleported in the wizarding world. He vlogs his whole journey and makes a lot of new friends. But new friends also come with new enemies. Will Jake ever find a way back home? Will he even survive? Find out in Jake Paul is a Wizard.





	Jake Paul is a Wizard

"What is up Jake Paulers, today we are going to be feeding the hungry African children. I'm so excited for this one! May God bless them all with my fortune!" Jake said as he walked down the streets of LA.

"So as y'all can tell, I'm still in LA. How can you help them from there Jake? Y'all must be wondering. Well, I'll tell ya how!"

Jake started walking in front of a studio and the sad music queued.

"Starting from $.99 a month you can donate to the hungry, needy, children in Africa. Donations can go up to $99.99 a month. I'm gonna do the highest, since I am Jake Paul. I'm going to give them $1,000 a month! Not like it'll take a toll on my bank account since my tab is always full." He said with a dab.

"Please Jake Paulers, and everyone who hates me, donate to AfricaNeedsYou.org, every donation counts."

The sad music had stopped and Jake Paul laughed, "May God bless them all with food, money, clothes, shelter, and youtube. Amen."

"Anyways enough with that sad stuff, today Jake Paulers let's take a journey!"

Just as Jake said journey he tripped and fell into an earthquake that suddenly happened.

"Ahhh! I love my mom, my dad, and all my fans! Fuck you Logan you're my comp. I hope you burn in hellllllll!"

Luckily by this time Jake had his camera strapped to his head so all of this got caught on tape.

Jake awoke in a strange red and gold room. His mind could only think of one thing this might be.

"Holy shit Jake Paulers," he said with his camera still strapped to his head. "Is this the fire nation? Oh fuck what did I get myself into this time...?"

As Jake was talking to his fans he realized how much his head hurt. Did the fire nation have some ibuprofen he could take. He sure needed that right now.

Someone started to approach Jake. He was afraid of their fire bending; he didn't want to get burnt to a crisp! As the person came closer into view he realized who it was. It was no one to fear.

"Omg it's Iroh!" He squealed at the bearded man. "You sure are taller and much skinnier. Where did you get those glasses?"

The old man looked very confused. He assumed Jake was a troubled boy. This boy needed some mental help.

"I am not who you are speaking of. I'm Albus Dumbledore." The man spoke.

"Ohh, no wonder you're white." Jake laughed as he thought of the mans last name. "Haha you said dumblewhore, right?"

Dumbledore sighed at this poor troubled boys humor. "You remind me of a troubled kid I used to care for, Tom Riddle."

"Riddle? Tell me one, that sounds epic!" Jake laughed into the camera and zoomed in on Dumbledores wrinkles.

A few other people stood behind this man. They looked to be around 5 years old. Though everyone underage to Jake looked like a literal fetus.

"Lmao when did kindergarten get out?"

The nerdy looking boy with a nasty scar, like Zuko, spoke up, "Don't you dare say that about us! We are not 5, we're 12! How dare you call us children! We're almost teenagers."

Jake laughed at this little boy. "5, 12, what's the difference? You're all fetuses in my eyes. Now go make me a sandwich slave."

"Slavery's nothing to joke about! Your way of speaking is so crude. Also your voice is strange." The girl with a ratty busted wig said.

"Okay busted" He zoomed in on this girls broken weave.

"Well, I'm not the one who's in trouble. But you will be!"

Dumbledore sighed and spoke with wise words, "I think this would be a very good learning experience for you guys if you took him to class with you. This will help you get along with Draco and other troubled kids."

"That's rad bro! Thanks Iroh my main homie. You've always been my favorite character. Can't wait to find the dope here and skip class and smoke! Woo!!"

The kindergardeners all collectively groaned.

" Now now, " Dumbledore teased. " Don't say anything you might regret. "

The doors of the potions classroom bust open.

" JAKE PAULERS ARE YOU READY TO GET YOUR LEARN ON! " He shouted disturnbing Snapes class since he was late.

On his way to the classroom he got distracted with all the cool witchy shit. The kindergarteners didn't wanna be late since Snape is a bitch face, so they went ahead of him.

"Who are these Jake Paulers, and why are you in MY classroom. You look rather to be a 2nd year, let alone 7th year. Who are you?" Snape snapped.

"Um, I'm Jake Paul? How do you not know who I am, you normie ass bitch," Jake said while pointing at himself. "God will let all hell out on you!"

Hermione sighed while Ron was wheezing at the top of his lungs. "He's some... person, who we found in the common room and Dumbledore said it'd be a good idea to take him to class with us so we could get along with Draco better and other troubled kids."

As Draco heard his name mentioned he dropped his pen. "Um, excuse me what? I'm not a troubled kid if that's what he was implying. How dare that old scum say anything about me!"

"Don't you dare ever talk about Dumbledore that way! Never disrespect him ever again or you'll regret it Malfoy." Harry growled.

"Did you just threaten me?" Draco screeched.

As the children were screeching Jake Paul zoomed in on the scene. "Look at this 5 year olds fighting. Awww it's so funny that they think they can actually hurt someone. I remember when I was 5 and went to Church with the Paul family..." Jake started rambling as the kids started fist fighting.

"Take that bloody Malfoy!" Harry said as he punched him in the gut.

Jake stopped all his rambling and looked upon the scene. "WORLDSTAR!!" He screamed.

Ron thought Jake was really funny so he repeated after him, "WORLDSTAAARRR!" These two worldstars sent the whole class, except Hermione, into chaos of kids screaming 'worldstar'.

Snape was losing his shit. He went bat shit crazy. He could not handle all this chaos in the class. Usually he could handle troubled Harry and his hatred towards the emo teacher, but this? How could this strange outsider man cause so much trouble?

Jake looked over to Snape as he had a mental breakdown. "Hahha faggot you need to shower! Your hairs greasy as fuck and you'll never get a lady looking like that."

As Jake said that Snape got ptsd flashbacks to being bullied during school and watching the love of his life, Lily, die.

He screamed in rage at Jake and the class full of chaotic children. "ENOUGH! ENOUGH! ENOUGH!" A tear of anger and sadness rolled down his pale, slimy, wrinkly cheek.

Everyone stopped what they were doing. Harry had a hold of Draco's robe. His nose was bleeding.

Harry panicked and ran out of the classroom. As he left he said, "I ain't going back home today." Then he yeeted out of there.

Jake loved all of this. He had so much fun. He laughed and dabbed 5 times. His dabs were so powerful he killed everyone and got sent back to LA."

"Well y'all we got our crazy adventure today! What a fun time that was Jake Paulers! Leave a like, comment, share, and subscribe! Goodnight everyone and may God bless y'all."

HP Fan39654: "OK..... Well that was a little crazy I guess, but it was very entertaining. I missed hp soooo much and cc and fb werent enough for me. I missed the old plot and them as kids so thanks for bringing that back. This was a better one of your videos."

Garrett Watts: "OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID A VERY REALISTIC SECOND YEAR VIDEO ON HARRY POTTER!! THAT WAS SOOOO COOL AND AMAZING! THANK YOU JAKE!!

PS

Cant wait to see you when Shane and you make a vid together, we can discuss hp together ;) "

JK Rowling: "How DARE you do this to Harry Potter?!??!?!?!?!??!?!? You know nothing about it at all! Also those characters look NOTHING like them in second year! You're so idiotic! You didn't get the characters personalities right at all! First of all Dumbledore wouldn't be so trusting of you, Harry wouldn't run away from trouble, Draco is not a misunderstood child he's pure evil, Snape can control his emotions much better than that and is the real misunderstood character here, Ron would never like such kinds as you, and Hermione is not that sassy! I hate you Jake Paul."

Replies to JK Rowling

Daniel Radcliffe: "Wow, really? I loved it!"

Tom Felton: "He got the characters pretty spot on in every way. Their looks were like exact like he's got the good editing skills and put a lot of time in this. And the personalities were pretty spot on... You crazy old bat! BTW I would LOOVVVEEEEE to meet my doppleganger and make a video with him! Haha HMU Jake!"


End file.
